Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Pics and the Male Gaze.

So, I have had my profile given the once over by a couple of members of the male species, who aren't interested in me and are therefore...unbiased-ish...viewers of said profile.  The feedback has been interesting.

I suppose I should post the pics here so you know what I am talking about...

This one is my regular profile pic.

 I call it bitch face. Because that is what one of my critiquers called it.  Bitch face is apparently interesting, kids, because, despite that saying that you attract more flies with honey..(who wants flies, anyhow?), it seems to be a lie. I've gotten way more views and messages with bitch face as my primary pic than I have with soft smile girl.
Softy smile girl is false advertising, anyway, unless you are a sweet baby who gives noisy kisses.  And that is NOT a euphemism.  Bitch face appears much more often in real life.  Not to say I don't laugh a lot or that I'm unhappy.  I DO laugh.  A lot.  And I am decidedly happy.  It's just that bitch face is my normal expression.  Besides.  Like I said.  Bitch face garners more hits.  Why?  Not sure.  Maybe because it looks like a challenge.  It was pointed out to me that that may not be the way to find a long term relationship, though, to present a challenge, because, once they conquer the challenge, they'll get bored and be done. Like that's going to happen... Srsly.  First off, this challenge is not conquerable.  Second off, I may be many things, but boring is not one of them.
Here is softy, pretty girl.  Boring.  I've gotten one or two guys who say, Oh, you have a sweet smile.  Is that like a sweet spirit?  Pass.  Also, my shirt says Cougar.  It's for all those 28 year olds with the hot bods... JUST KIDDING.  It's my BYU shirt.  Once again with the naive, it had to be pointed out to me that I was wearing a shirt that says Cougar on a dating site...I'm awesome like that.

This one is the "What?  That doesn't even look like you."

Yeah.  That's because I'm a redhead with NO MAKEUP ON.  Makeup changes everything, kids.

This is the "You look like you're coming down off a crack high."

 I don't really know what that means.  I just thought I looked pretty, but you know, there's no telling what goes on in the male brain...

Another, "Who is that?  You look different."

Yes, we like to call that a new 'do.  Hard concept, apparently.  Girls change their hair from time to time.  And put on glasses.  Geez, I'm like freaking CLARK KENT.  For all you know, I'm Superman.  Woman, actually.  But you get the idea.

Then I had a couple more pics, one of which was the requisite body shot.  That came down, because, apparently, that was the pic that was INVITING THE SEX COMMENTS.  Yeah, see the associated post on my other blog.  HONESTLY.

Anyway, online dating is interesting, because it's all about the pictures.  If you don't look interesting, or pretty, or whatever it is the particular person is looking for, you don't get looked at.  I won't lie, I do a similar thing.  I mean, I DO read their profile and if they seem unsuited to me (which is most of them, I'll be honest), then, nope, no interest.  But, I do like to see what I am considering.  Shallow, perhaps, yes...but, it happens to the best of us.

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