I'm hanging out waiting for the Small Daughter to fall asleep when I realize, HEY perfect time to write a small post!! Just a taste, as it were, of the stories I have...
I've got some epic stories, kids. Things have happened that truly were not anticipated when I joined the online dating world. Some good, some HILARIOUSLY bad.
Out of respect for the nice guys out there, I will not give you the good stories, except to say that they are good. Besides, they are nearly as amusing.
So, onward and upward and all that.
I joined this lovely (sort of) LDS themed (sort of) site about...2 weeks ago? Or something like that. I had originally posted a couple of pics of me and Small Daughter. They weren't up for long. Ew. Creepers. I took those down right away. Now, it's just pics of me. Which, in case you were curious, are smokin' hot.
I've been told, more times than I can count, that I look good for my age. Whut. Isn't that a sort of back handed compliment? "Damn, you old, but you sure look fine for bein' so old!" Thanks...or something...I think.
So, not two days after joining, I got my first chat window pop up. There's IM on the site.
-Blah, blah, chat, chat, you pretty, love red hair, if we go out I wanna touch your boobs.
-Yeah, I like to touch boobs.
I...what? No, sorry. No, that's not in the contract. No.
-Oh, well, I can't date a girl who won't let me play with her boobs.
Alright, I concur his wording may have been slightly smoother than that, but not much. Hi, caveman, please go back to your cave.
Within the next couple of days, I got no less than 4 offers for sex. Couched in semi-polite terms, of course, since we're all Mormons here. Or something...
At that point I edited my profile. I had to add a line about if they are trolling for sex, cyber or otherwise, they should seek elsewhere. Because, EW! Like I'm gonna run off and bang some dude from the 'net? I mean, geez, get to know a girl a little first.
And then it happened. I got the message to end all messages. Ok, that's a lie, because it escalated.
Stay tuned for the dark, unholy tale...